Why Did No One Tell Me It Would Be Like This?

Here’s what I thought menopause was: Your periods stop (yay!), you get the occasional hot flash - just a cute little moment of feeling warm, and women get a bit bitchier than usual.

WRONG! 

It’s a multi-year journey of undefined brain fog convincing you a tumor must be present, sudden mid-drift weight gain having you swear off crop tops forever, and hot flashes that leave you with sweat mustaches that accumulate while you are in midsentence with your boss.  And that’s just the beginning.

But if you’re here – you probably know that.

The real question is – what do we do now?  We are middle-aged (ugh), navigating “the change” – cringing even typing that – and sick of how little we know, how little has been researched, and how little anyone cares about how we are suffering.  

Until now.

Gen X women, alongside some progressive boomers and older millennials, are stopping the silence.  The conversation is starting and some high-profile voices like Oprah, Drew Barrymore, and Maria Schriver are amplifying it.  Our daughters won’t be in the dark like we are.  Just like this younger generation talks freely about their periods and will walk around CVS brandishing a box of tampons, where we would not speak out loud of our visits from Aunt Flo – so too will they have access to real menopause education, research, and medical support.

But what about us? 

Once again, we the latch-key kids will have to blaze our own trail and figure this sh*t out for ourselves….in real time…while we are suffering. 

That’s why this blog exists.

Midlife-WTF is a space for us to navigate this transition together, sorting through the flood of (often contradictory) advice, sharing real experiences, and separating science from the stuff that’s just trying to sell us something.  We can learn from each other – our experiences, successes, failures, heartbreaks, and moonshots.

We’ll tackle:

·       The physical chaos we are going through - weight gain, hot flashes, osteoporosis, brain fog, and diminished libido – yes we will boldly go there!  

·       The so-called fixes and why no one agrees as to what really works – HRT, intermittent fasting, strength training, Mediterranean diet/Keto diet/Insert latest diet, ashwagandha– whatever that is.

·       The major life shifts – empty nests, aging parents (and losing them), career pivots and retirement.  These stages wreak havoc on our identities, stress levels, and time management.

·       Mental and emotional health - because as lifelong caregivers, we’re still looking after everyone else while struggling to care for ourselves. Self-care? We weren’t exactly raised to know how to do that.

Who am I?

Like you I’m desperately trying to figure it out. 

I’m Deborah, born in 1968, officially post-menopausal, and juggling a life that probably looks a lot like yours. I have two college-aged children, both daughters, – one attending out of state and one taking classes while living at home.  I divorced their father 10 years ago and am remarried to the love of my life.  With a blended family, I also now have a 30-year-old bonus daughter, who lives a couple of hundred miles away.

I work full-time, am pursing a master’s degree, have lost both my parents in the last 5 years, and my 6-year-old German Shephard was recently diagnosed with cancer. Life is complicated enough without feeling like my body has been hijacked, my brain arrested, and that little spark inside me snuffed out.

So, let’s figure it out together.

Join me and the Midlife-WTF community as we tackle this chapter with grace, humor, and a whole lot of real talk. Share your thoughts, experiences, and hard-won wisdom so we can compare notes, dissect the latest advice, and experiment our way toward a healthier, more vibrant future.

Because here’s the real secret no one told us: We’re going to spend the rest of our lives post-menopause, so let’s make it long, strong, and full of life.

No one told me that was possible. Until now.